Monday, July 26, 2010

The fine art of beer drinking.

DISCLAIMER : The story behind the universal truths mentioned here may or may not be true. But the truths themselves are. Totally true.

The smell that comes out of your mouth once you have it is yeeeeeeeeeeessssshhhhh!!!

How can people stand that taste!! It is so yucky re!!

Friends, this is NOT cigarette smoking that I am talking about. Those 2 quotes (or anything of the like) are the 2 responses (and the ONLY 2 responses) that you will get from a person who absolutely abhors beer.

I too was once part of that gang. I could never understand how so many people could just drink beer as though they were quenching their thirst. Their response would always be the same

It's an acquired taste.

Now, having started out with vodka and then gone on to rums and whisky's, I was determined to pass the beer barrier that was holding me back for so long. I had set my sights on the goal of getting that acquired taste, and was determined on reaching it. Gosh, if only I had put in so much effort during my MBA, I would have been a topper!(Of course I'm kidding...... I started out with rum!! Never vodkas! Those are only for pansies!)

That very rainy day in Mumbai is a day I will always remember. Not just for the fact that I managed to lose an umbrella, buy another one, and lose that one too (Which reminds me, where have I put my latest umbrella!!!). But also for passing the beer barrier. Pappu finally passed his test.

When I finally analyzed how I managed to cross the hurdles, I found out that a lot of externalities took place for this momentuous occasion to occur. Now, having seen both sides of the coin, I will dispense with certain universal truths that are required for you to truly enjoy that pint of beer that you drink.

1. You need very good company. This is absolutely essential. Without the absolute right company, your beer will never reach that godly taste level that it was set out to reach. Instead, you will be whining your way to half a pint, and waste the rest. Which would make you a clear murder target for all the other beer lovers around you.

2. This is not absolutely essential. But it works if you are an experienced enough drinker trying to enter into the realms of beerdom for the first time. Play a small game. Drink your first glass of beer bottoms up. The last person to do so would have to propose (or take a rose and give it) to a girl in the pub (The clear assumption here is that you are going to have beer outside your home in a pub. If you're not, then... well.... you're a plain loser!).

3. Engage with your company. Staying quiet is a BIG HUGE NO NO. Laugh a lot. Crack random jokes. Keep yourself busy. Basically, be on a "happy high" before you have that first beer. Also works once you have done step 2 successfully.

4. Do not have anything to eat before you go for your beer. Eating more makes you want to drink less. And a bit slowly. That is a bad combination if you are just a starter in beer. Might just about work if you are an rookie, though. I wouldn't know that.

It is absolutely necessary that those 4 universal truths need to conspire together for you to be able to pass the barrier. If any one of these truths do not occur, I guarantee you that you will not like your pint of beer.

There. Now, if there is anyone looking to cross that barrier, or is atleast trying to understand how it is that people get that "acquired taste" to beer, this is the place where all your answers will be found.

No comments: