Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Pros and cons - Doc in the family.

Not many of you out there have had a doc for a dad or a mum. So I'm pretty sure that you guys would have had quite sometime trying to get in touch with one, asking for the doc's advice, second opinions and what not.

What does it feel like having a doc in the family? Have any one of you thought "How I wish my Mom/Dad were a doctor?" Well, here are some of the pros and cons (Not exhaustive by any means. I will add more as I get more) of having one in your immediate family (Mom/Dad types. Might work if you have really close relatives too).

Advantages of having a Doc in the family

1. He can get you an appointment with any other Doc at anytime. All he needs to do is barge into the Doc's room at anytime, with that stethoscope of his, and within a couple of sentences, you got yourself a high priority appointment.

Doc in the family (Barging into the theater when the other doc is doing an operation) : HEEY THERE!!! This here is my boy. He has a tooth ache. Please make it go away, pronto!

Doc (who is performing the surgery) : Right away!! HEY YOU JUNIOR DOC, take care of this while I look into the curious case of the Doc's son here, will ya?

Junior Doc : But Doc.... I don't know what to do....

Doc (who is performing the surgery) : aaaeee! Just insert this needle thingy right there, and see where it goes. Elementary!

And thus, your appointment is fixed.

2. If you say the right things, after the initial introduction, you can get your appointments for anything at anytime of your convenience.

Doc : You'll have this very important surgery done on Tuesday!!

Me : But Doc, I have a wedding to attend that day

Doc : OK. Let's have that very important surgery done on Wednesday!!

Me : Wicked.

3. You can say anything you want about what you do, or even about simple household appliances, like the computer. Chances are that the doc (your dad/mom) will accept it word for word, and will try to implement it too.

Me : Hey Doc (Mom/Dad), did you know that if you just sat in front of the computer, it would switch on... JUST BY ITSELF!! I modified the internal circuitry of the system to suit the requirements.... and Eyjafjallajökull (for those who actually are surprised by this word, read my previous post on B-school internship .)

Doc : Hey!! That's great!

About an hour later

Doc : Son... I've been sitting there for an hour and the system still hasn't switched on!

Me : Ha Ha! Gotcha! AGAIN!

Doc : We'll see about that when you get acute chronic lymphocytic thyroiditis! (This is a disadvantage. The Doc can always get back at you with his Doc Talk.)

Me : :|

Disadvantages of having a Doc in the family

1. You could end up listening to everything the other Doc says. And it doesn't sound like a nightingale. Not even to Florence. Makes you wonder whether they would make good consultants, though.

Doc : The previous examination showed us that the filling in the root canal cavity was not properly performed. A look at the X-Ray (Pointing at something on the film), shows that there are a lot of cysts formed due to the prolonged exposure of the infection to the cavity. Hence, a huge cyst has formed, leading to your current situation of *something*sclerosis. What we will need to perform is a MINOR (That's an attempt to keep me from screaming my head out) *something*ectomy (Oh. Doc talk. Very ectomic.) on you. 

Don't worry. It will involve only minor plumbing and digging into your teeth.(OK that last sentence is what I understood from the conversation. It's a good enough summary, though.)

Me : Want to work for my consulting company?? You'd blend in easily. You can do medical insurance.

2. The Doc in the family has the same cure for any problem that you will have. So will his/her spouse who, after so many years of marriage, would have enough knowledge to get a people's MBBS (You know. The one where he/she feeds information based solely on the experience gained through marriage), and start having second opinions of their own.

Me : My stomach's not all right.... uuggghhhh I don't feel so good.

Doc : Here is some paracetamol, you knucklehead.


Me (After some research of my own) : AIIYYYOO!! I have acute chronic lymphocytic thyroiditis!!!

Doc : Oh....Here is some paracetamol, you knucklehead.

Spouse : How about some rabeprazole. Isn't it better?

Doc : Oh yeah. Here is some rabeprazole, you knucklehead.


Doc and Spouse (in unison) : KNUCKLEHEAD!

So, all of you who had aspirations of having a doc as your mom/dad, think again. Evaluate. Use porter's 5 forces. Strategize. Then harbour those aspirations once again.


Deepa said...

True I guess to some extend!!!

Kiran said...

Very true...:)

Harini Vaidyanath said...

haha! v. interesting..

CoolSid said...